Medication commercials have always intrigued me, especially towards the end when they list off the series of side affects that you may encounter by taking them. Why would I want to take a diet pill, even if it has been approved by the FDA when it also guarantees that I’m going to have greasy flatulence? That is one of the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.
This morning, during the amazing and wonderful Young and the Restless, an advertisement for VESIcare came on. I am sure that I’ve seen it 1,000 times, but today I actually paid attention. I would like to let you take a moment to read the following paragraph; which is also what the commentator reads word for word towards the end of the commercial…
Important Safety Information
VESIcare is for urgency, frequency, and leakage (overactive bladder). VESIcare is not for everyone. If you have certain stomach or glaucoma problems, or trouble emptying your bladder, do not take VESIcare. Tell your doctor right away if you have a serious allergic reaction, severe abdominal pain, or become constipated for three or more days. VESIcare may cause blurred vision, so take care while driving or doing unsafe tasks until you know how VESIcare affects you. Common side effects are dry mouth, constipation, and indigestion.
Okay, so let’s review.
First, I would like to add that the basis for the commercial is to reach out to people who feel like they cannot be “spontaneous” because of their urge to piss all of the time. Now, I can appreciate how that issue might hinder some folks’ behavior. What I can’t understand is why you would want to take a pill that may cure your urge to pee, but leave you constipated for days at a time while battling heartburn and dry mouth. I mean, really? I would be a much more “spontaneous” person if I needed to urinate all of the time versus having my stomach bloated up with three full days of shit that won’t move!
Second of all, I’m not sure that the safety precautions they ask you to take involving blurred vision is even legal.
“VESIcare may cause blurred vision, so take care while driving”??? Take care? That’s what I put on a get well card for someone who had the flu or their appendix removed. You don’t give someone a pill that could possibly cause an accident that may result in death and say take care.
I firmly believe that anyone who chooses to try out this medication should be given a kit which includes; the pills, a neon sign for their car warning all others that they are a danger to themselves and others, as well as a t-shirt that says, “I’m super spontaneous now that I have my overactive bladder under control. Just don’t push on my stomach or make me do anything besides lie down in the fetal position, because I’m crazy constipated.”
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